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What do you call three beautiful women in Chapel Hill?
Lost. |
| We are the best team in the country by far. The reason we are losing is because we can’t figure out how to take
advantage of games. We’re beating ourselves. Rashad McCants, of a team that is 3-5 in conference. |
How can you tell if a Carolina guy is a virgin?
He can outrun his roommate. |
What has Matt Doherty done in one year that Mack Brown couldn't do in 10?
Turn UNC into a football school. |
Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a new shoe in March called "The Final Four?"
The special feature has no
Heels. |
Did you hear they were going to change the UNC mascot from a ram to a possum?
It's because they play dead at home
and get killed on the road. |
How many UNC grads work for the Psychic Network?
None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the
past. |
Why can't UNC basketball players get on the internet?
They can't put 3 "W"s together. |
Did you hear that Coach Matt is dressing only 7 players for the ACC this year?
The rest can dress themselves. |
Did you hear UNC got a new defensive cordinater?
Sure did...Johnny Cochran |
Can you name the one good use for a UNC diploma?
By placing it in the windshield of your car you are eligible for handicapped
parking. |
How is the UNC football team like a possum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road. |
Why should you never make fun over a UNC football player on a bike?
Chances are, it's your bike! |
Tar Heel Quote: "It’s time to accept that class is no longer immediately associated with the
University of North
Carolina sports teams." - Adam Lucas, goheels.com reporter, July 28 |
After his last season Coach Matt called the team together and asked them to be pallbearers when he died....
He wanted
them to let him down one last time |
"They have an advantage because they understand the game a little better than me."
Michael Jordan, new 12% owner of
the NHL's Washington Capitals, when asked how it would feel to compete
against fellow NHL owners Mario Lemieux and Wayne
Gretzky. |
What's the difference between a Carolina coed and a phone booth?
Only three football players fit in a phone booth.
. |
| What do you call 30 Carolina fans in a basement?......... A whine cellar. . |
| UNC researchers announced that they've just discovered another use for sheep:..... Wool. |
| Bumper sticker: Teach a child the ABCs.... Anybody But Carolina... |
Ed Cota UNC says "Yeah, we would like to play them again,
but I don't think they will make it that far," Cota said
of the
Blue Devils, who beat UNC by an average of 18 points in three
meetings. "I don't think they will do very well
in the tournament."
|
Why don't they have Christmas in Chapel Hill?
-They can't find a virgin and three wise men. |
What's the difference between a porcupine and the Dean Dome?
- a porcupine has 30,000 pricks on the outside. |
"Other Than Avery...They Have Suspect Shooters."
- UNC Max Owens |
First Carolina grad: Do you know what the N stands for in UNC?
- Second Carolina grad: Knowledge. |
What does a Carolina graduate say to a Duke graduate?
Would you like fries with that? |
How do they separate the men from the boys at UNC?
-With a crowbar. |
"Now [Duke] won the regular season but you don't get
anything for that.You get a 'Congratulations.' But at
the same
time in order to get something.You have to
win the ACC tournament. It's a whole new ballgame."
-UNC Ademola Okulaja |
Why is it so windy in Durham?
Because Chapel Hill sucks.
|
What's the first thing a UNC girl
does when she wakes up in the morning?
-Walks home. |
What is the difference between a UNC
fan and a three-week-old puppy?
-Eventually the puppy will stop whining. |
February 4, 1999 that Vilcom, the network
that owns media rights to UNC athletic events, uses
pre-recorded crowd
noise during its live men's basketball
radio broadcasts. The bogus fan noise has been noticeable
during certain games
due to technical glitches. The practice
was called "deceptive, pure and simple" by one national media
analyst. UNC basketball
audiences have been described as apathetic
and a "wine and cheese" (or "whine and cheese") crowd because of
their lack
of enthusiasm........The News and Observer |
Why are they planning to resurface
the Dean Dome with cardboard?
-Because the Tarheels always
play better on
paper. |
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